Bible Ballistics: Man Caves or She Sheds??? What Ever Happened to the ‘FAMILY’ Room??? Vol. 5 #26
I was pondering what to write on this Mother’s Day, and I came across a picture on the Internet promoting “She Sheds” in preference to “Man Caves”. Well the thought came to my heart as I sat here thinking about our culture and its problems, “What ever happened to the Family Room?”
What was a family room? It used to be a room in the house where the ‘family-mom, dad and the children’ could play games together, watch TV together or– shock of all shockers—“TALK” together about things in their day!!! For some it was the ‘kitchen table’—a place where the children did homework, where special times with mom helped heal wounded knees and elbows, or even broken hearts. Where mom and dad talked about the difficulties they faced, and about the joys and sorrows of living life and raising children. A place where oneness was developed:
“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:21-24
God created marriage—one man and one woman–two brought together into oneness. Experiencing a oneness of body, mind and heart—a oneness that can bring joy for a lifetime. A oneness that, when torn apart, brings grief to all who are touched by the brokenness. God created an intimate and unified (not uniform) nurturing place for the growth of individuals into families!!! Families that would produce more nurtured and mature adults to continue to form a society of goodness and righteous people to reflect the glory of God. We’ve kind of missed the mark, haven’t we? When sin came into our world it broke the wonderful state that God had created for this man a woman. Those to whom He gave the responsibility of tending to, caring for and populating His world. The man would be required to “leave his father and his mother” and “cleave unto his wife”—to be glued to his wife with whom he was beginning a new ‘FAMILY’ unit. Oneness passed on!
What have we done to God’s wonderful plan? Instead of oneness we teach and promote independence—independence from God, from one another, from intimacy, from the very oneness God established in the beginning. So what does this ‘oneness’ look like? Let’s see if we can gain an understanding from scripture.
1 Corinthians 11:8-12 says, “For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. 9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. 10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. 12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.”
While God created man and woman in an order, he didn’t create them as ‘superior and subservient’; rather He created them to share oneness. Rather than bring our ‘independence’ into the home we are to practice ‘inter-dependence’—dependence upon God, and dependence upon one another. Not two pulling in two different directions, but two unified and pulling together to accomplish shared goals and objectives, and when we are yielded to God, shared allegiance to the God of the Bible– The creator of the universe. Individual rolls but rolls that enhance and compliment (not compete) each the other. We are to be completers not compete-ers. Not exactly what’s going on in our modern culture? But I take heart when I see godly, Christian families not only believing in, but living oneness. The image of God reflected in a “family room”! And not just a “family room” but a “family house”—a house full of God’s love, God’s Word, God’s love and God’s image displayed before the world!!! In God’s image:
“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Genesis 1:26-27
God created ‘them’ each in His own image—man and woman. No superior—no inferior, but by the same token, not “sameness”!!! Men and women are not the same but they are each created in God’s image, with a distinct creativity, gifting and abilities so that each one contributes to a healthy, functioning home!!! If they were the ‘same’ then one of them would be unnecessary. We are to bring our created uniqueness to the marriage–to the ‘home’. Mom and Dad, each bringing their strengths and weaknesses to grow together into a truly God-honoring home.
While we often focus on the “Proverbs 31” woman on Mother’s Day, we need to take it beyond that and see a “Proverbs 31” home. Let’s see some of the principles of this home:
Excerpts from Proverbs 31:10-31,
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…
12 She will do him good and not evil …..
worketh willingly with her hands.
…. she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night,
and giveth meat to her household…..
16 She considereth a field…
with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength….
….. her candle goeth not out by night.
…. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor…
to the needy.
21 She is not afraid………
23 Her husband is known in the gates…..
he sitteth among the elders of the land.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing…….
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom…
in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household ….eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praiseth her…….
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord,
she shall be praised……….
let her own works praise her in the gates.”
A home—a mother who does the caring for her family; a father who takes care of his responsibilities to his home and maintains his integrity in the community; children who recognize the work and input of their parents and honor them for their faithful leadership and caring. And on top of all of that, we see God, who honors righteousness and faithfulness in His own. Paul adds to our understanding a picture of the oneness that builds godly homes:
Excerpts from Ephesians 5:20-33,
“Giving thanks always for all things unto God …
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the saviour of the body. (the Savior and lover of his wife—not her dictator)……
25 Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church,
and gave himself for it; …….
28 So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh;
but nourisheth and cherisheth it,
even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body,
of his flesh,
and of his bones. (oneness with Jesus)
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother,
and shall be joined unto his wife,
and they two shall be one flesh. (remember Genesis??)
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Different roles with unique expressions given to grow a home into a reflection of the image of Christ—Christ in us who are His.
“Christ in you, the hope of glory:” Colossians 1:27b
And the key is in the first two verses of our Ephesians passage—the ones we often forget to include in our assessment of this scripture:
“Giving thanks always for all things unto God…” And
“Submitting yourselves one to another
in the fear of God.”
And in conclusion I simply ask, “Are we building “Family Rooms”? Or are we so busy building “man caves” and “she shelters” that the “family room” goes neglected and could perhaps be one explanation for the dire straights in which the family stands today, particularly in America, even in the church!!!
Have a blessed Mother’s Day—
as the mom being honored—
as the husband of a ‘virtuous woman’—
as the children of a ‘godly woman’—
or as a friend of families every where!!!
May we see God’s truth while there is still time, and make a difference, as a book once said, “One Family At A Time”? May we commit ourselves to a godly priority of family rather than ‘self’ motivation? May you grow a great “Family Room”!!!