Just Words Aren’t Enough??? A Word from THE WORD!!! #161

As parents we spend a lot of time talking to our children, but I have realized that we are often talking “at” them and not “to” them, and there is a difference.  Oh, how I wish I could have a ‘redo’ on so many opportunities to communicate with my children.  Parenting isn’t for sissies, or the weak of heart—it takes a heart and mind set on loving our children the way that God loves us, and to know about that we absolutely must be in God’s Word to see His work, His character, His heart, His ways, His commands, demands, instruction and insights into being not only ‘good parents’ but effectively parenting biblically!  It has to be a lifestyle and a commitment to know what God expects and be the example before our children that will impart God’s ways to them, not just ‘talk them to death’ (The old adage, ‘Do what I say, not what I do!)!

“Train up a child

in the way he should go:

and when he is old,

he will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

This is a much-debated verse, and I would simply like to give you my take on it; first of all we must remember that the context is Proverbs, principles for godly living—not necessarily promises but principles!  This verse in particular isn’t a promise on raising perfect children, but a principle that there is a ‘way’ in which we are to ‘train’ our children.  The word ‘train’ is key, for we aren’t to run rough-shod over them, neither are we to let them run wild and free, running rough-shod over we parents or other adults in their life.  We are to instruct them in proper behavior—what is acceptable and what is not, living our lives before them in submission to our heavenly Father, setting an example of obedience, respect and regard for God and others in authority.

As a substitute teacher for some 25 years, I know by personal experience and observation that much of the problem we have in our public schools comes from children and parents (YES parents) who have no regard for the authorities in the public school; and while they aren’t ‘all-knowing’ or ‘perfect’ authority figures, they are usually reasonable people who care about our children.  I qualify this by saying that there are those in places of authority in education who think they have more authority than the parent, and we must know our child and what we have taught them and be willing to stand up for them when they are being wrongly accused, bullied, or mistreated by child or adult!  But by the same token we are to extend the same respect and willingness to hear those on the other side.

God has given us the best guide for how to teach, train and prepare our children for adulthood.  I can’t believe that I missed this until most of my children had left home, and I regret that I missed so much opportunity to share truth and godly principles with them.  I was raised in a ‘no backtalk’ environment, and I held pretty tightly to that principle, yet there is a place for open communication between parent and child, not sass, not disrespect, or disregard on either side.  Parents are to ‘parent’ not the child!  Let’s take a look at God’s plan, and while I’d love to share the whole of Deuteronomy 6, we’ll just post selected parts, and you can read the rest on your own—it’s too good to miss!

“Now these are the commandments,

 the statutes,

 and the judgments,

which the LORD your God

commanded to teach you,

that ye might do them

in the land whither ye go to possess it:

2 That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God,

to keep all his statutes

and his commandments,

which I command thee,

thou,

and thy son,

and thy son’s son,

all the days of thy life;

and that thy days may be prolonged.

4 Hear, O Israel:

The LORD our God is one LORD:

5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God

with all thine heart,

and with all thy soul,

and with all thy might.

6 And these words,

which I command thee this day,

shall be in thine heart:” Deuteronomy 6:1-6

Moses was preparing the children of Israel to go into the promised land after his decease, as well as to know how God expected them to behave that they would prosper and succeed in the Land of Canaan; also for their posterity—themselves, their sons, and their son’s sons and all future generations.  The key is that is starts with we parents, You/I must know God personally, to have been ‘born again’ as Jesus said, before we can pass anything on to our children.  God’s Word must be in our hearts, and it gets there not only by studying The Word, but also by the empowering understanding that the indwelling Holy Spirit gives to God’s own.

“Therefore being justified by faith,

we have peace with God

through our Lord Jesus Christ:

2 By whom also we have access

by faith

into this grace

wherein we stand,

and rejoice in hope of the glory of God…

…. 5 And hope maketh not ashamed;

because the love of God is shed abroad

in our hearts

by the Holy Ghost

which is given unto us.

6 For when we were yet without strength,

in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die:

yet peradventure for a good man

some would even dare to die.

8 But God commendeth his love toward us,

in that, while we were yet sinners,

Christ died for us.

9 Much more then,

being now justified by his blood,

we shall be saved from wrath through him.

10 For if, when we were enemies,

we were reconciled to God

by the death of his Son,

much more,

being reconciled,

we shall be saved by his life.

11 And not only so,

but we also joy in God

through our Lord Jesus Christ,

by whom we have now

received the atonement.”   Portions of Romans 5:1-11

Just as Moses encouraged his people to pursue God’s will because HE had delivered them from Egypt and was about to take them into the Promised Land, Paul was reminding the Roman believers of all that God had done and is doing for us through Jesus’ redemption!  He has saved us, keeps us by the power of The Holy Spirit, and is leading us to the eternal ‘Promised Land’ of heaven!  We can live holy lives by the power of God, and we are to share that hope and power with our children, leading them to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!  So just as Moses called for commitment to God, we are called to the same, only we have been given the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit.   Let’s go back to Deuteronomy and see what other instructions God gave for parenting; they are simple if not easy, but doable by God’s power and obedient love of our Lord, when we know HIM personally!

“And thou shalt teach them diligently

unto thy children,

and shalt talk of them

when thou sittest in thine house,

and when thou walkest by the way,

and when thou liest down,

and when thou risest up.

8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand,

and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9 And thou shalt write them

upon the posts of thy house,

and on thy gates…

… 13 Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God,

and serve him,

and shalt swear by his name.

14 Ye shall not go after other gods,

of the gods of the people

which are round about you; …

… 17 Ye shall diligently keep the commandments

of the LORD your God,

and his testimonies,

and his statutes,

which he hath commanded thee.

18 And thou shalt do that

which is right and good in the sight of the LORD:

that it may be well with thee,

and that thou mayest go in

and possess the good land

which the LORD sware unto thy fathers,

19 To cast out all thine enemies

from before thee,

as the LORD hath spoken.

20 And when thy son asketh thee in time to come,

saying,

What mean the testimonies,

and the statutes,

and the judgments,

which the LORD our God hath commanded you?

21 Then thou shalt say unto thy son,

We were Pharaoh’s bondmen in Egypt;

and the LORD brought us out of Egypt

with a mighty hand:…

… 24 And the LORD commanded us

to do all these statutes,

to fear the LORD our God,

for our good always,

that he might preserve us alive,

as it is at this day.

25 And it shall be our righteousness,

if we observe to do

all these commandments

before the LORD our God,

as he hath commanded us.”  Portions of Deuteronomy 6:7-25

I know that this is a lengthy passage, and I encourage you to read the entire chapter– the more you read it, the more it will sink in, but I’d like to summarize what I think God was telling them as well as us.  Our world is going to “hell in a hand basket” and our children are following the world, we must step in and deliver them as best we can with God’s help, God’s Word and our own diligent prayer and obedient living.

Moses instructed the people that they were to behave like God’s children, having a personal relationship with HIM—they were to not only know God, but know HIS will, HIS Word, and HIS ways!  Then they were to teach their children by word and deed—in the way, when they arose, when they went to bed, when they saw teachable moments, moments that would be reinforced by the godly décor in their home—on the walls, in their media, in their speech, holding to the holy, godly lives that reflected the holiness of God not the ungodliness of the world.  Then in verses 20 and 21 he caps it all off by telling them that if they lived this godly way, their children would come of an age to ask, “why do we live this way?”, then they/we could share with them our own personal testimony of what God has done for us—for you and me!  WOW!  What an opportunity.

But what makes me sad today is that many people I know —both professing Christians and the non-Christians—have vocabularies that would make a gutter-snipe blush!  If you belong to Jesus, your language should reflect HIS character not the vile culture of our world.  I’ll close with Jesus’ own commentary on this situation.  You decide what you need to do about it, or how you can help others grow into more holy living than worldly living.

“O generation of vipers,

how can ye, being evil,

speak good things?

for out of the abundance of the heart

the mouth speaketh.

35 A good man

out of the good treasure of the heart

bringeth forth good things:

and an evil man

out of the evil treasure

bringeth forth evil things.”  Matthew 12:34-35

“But those things which proceed out of the mouth

come forth from the heart;

and they defile the man.

19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts,

murders, adulteries,

fornications, thefts,

false witness, blasphemies:

20 These are the things which defile a man:

but to eat with unwashen hands

defileth not a man.”  Matthew 15:18-20

Do you need to let Jesus ‘wash’ your mouth?  It’s your choice, but choose wisely, there is a test!

Amen and Amen!!!